Today has already become too long. With no return of the provision-pack yet, there is nothing to prepare. All our emergency provision-caches are empty. There are run-rigs to be made but, what with a cessation of swelling and the horrific loss of Runt^ life, we have finally met the needs for small run-rigs. Those with them are growing. Soon we will need bigger ones which offers distraction. The rattle of rollers is common everywhere now and one of the few sensations that still brings me pleasure.

The Soil parent will be publicly de-notched (does she deserve a practice reserved for extremely dangerous, notched warriors?) this Set. World exile procedure, where a dog is formally “ignored” leaving Pack, will not be followed – the exile will happen unobserved at night. Her ears will be removed in front of Pack though. When Slender left this Rise to his guard shift, I told Broad what we’d found. We have sent messages to the QPG^ coalition that we are attempting some crossings tonight with Soil from our comfort-unit. We need to know what the rules are. All focus will be on the de-notching. We can experiment then. I have made it clear I think compassion is lacking and I will not attend the de-notching (she doesn’t even have notches!). Broad is apathetic to everything recently – neither of us will be missed.

It is at least after zenith. I oscillate between excitement at actually having some Service to do and beginning to submit to the creeping doubt that something has gone wrong with the provision-pack. Slender is resting in den after his pre-zenith guard shift. Mane Runt is currently on sniff^ and the rest of our pack is trying to preserve strength for the potentially hardest night we will have served on Leaf-World, if there’s no provision for any-dog. Bushy is absent. I don’t know where and don’t have the energy to care right now.

When Slender comes out of den, I am to keep him and Mane Runt chatting for as long as possible so Broad can get a small amount of Soil from our comfort-unit into a sealed cache-pouch. I’m sure Slender knows we will take from our comfort-unit, but I am assuming nothing about how he might react to a flagrant theft with only a tacit agreement. Mane Runt will probably den with those denning after night-shift but she may choose to go to our den. She dens with us every few days. I wish our Service was reversed, Broad is far better at concealing his feelings and could probably be less suspicious than I. But, he was more excited about getting the Soil than I have smelled him in a season. I want to give him this chance to feel like a serving dog again.

Slender is awake and wants to relieve himself, he will be at the surface soon enough. He would normally get provision before going to Quarter-Service but he won’t be provided before going to Serve as a warrior. I suppose he’s trained for that. Mane Runt will be back here in 20 cents^. It is Broad’s chance. He has already “gone for a wander” so he can go straight to den. I must keep Slender focused on our conversation. I feel his palpable relief as he empties. He’ll come for a check-in next.

Slender approaches.

“I hope Trustworthy is back soon. Behaviour like Gentle Set’s is only going to become more likely” So he talked to her, the Soil parent.

“Me too. I am beginning to get truly worried about it. At first, I tried to think of it as a sign he might be bringing back more provision, but…I’m not sure what changed but I think there will be a different story.”

“Each time I cannot imagine it getting any worse, it finds a way” He sounds so desolate. “I hate Leaf-World.” All his confusion at Pack Guiders’^ inaction, hatred of the smell, hunger, tiredness and distress at his new Service are put into this hatred. It must seem a safe direction to focus his distress. I don’t know what to say to keep him talking. There is nothing to say after that. “I cannot think of a good thing that has happened since we arrived.”

“I can think of at least one memory worth making with you.” His whole scent shifts. He has a moment of fond thought but then he returns to his despair. He was a dog his age for a moment, but now he smells older than I am. “I know it is not exactly worth anything that has come since… but those first few days… before we realised how much trouble we were in… are easy to forget... but they are the thoughts that get me through.”

“Yes. I suppose memories are what makes a dog keep going in times like these…” he sighs and although he does not lie down, somehow collapses. He then shakes, “I am lucky to have experienced a quarter-season^ of contentment before this all happened. And even if I never experience Heat again, it was a glorious introduction.”

“I am sure you will. There will be more lanky pups born all over Leaf-World someday. We just need to get Pack there.” This is straying into dangerous territory. I want to change the focus, but everything seems so dire. “How is Gentle Set?”

“How is any dog who has committed such an atrocious not-for-Pack act? I don’t know if she is yet aware of the horror to come. She is living in the horror that passed. She is frightened of the de-notching… Soil parents aren’t used to that kind of physical hardship.”

“Or maybe that is as far as she can think safely. Minds are remarkably good at protecting dogs from thoughts that will make them Walk.” He is thoughtful for a moment, what has he smelled that makes him so old and yet so young?

“You’d be proud, I am trying to make her moments less painful where I can… There is not much I can do for her, but I feel like I am a real DQPG. Maybe, if I ever get a second choice at Service, I will be a quarter dog.” I glow and let him feel it. “I was never that convinced that my skills are uniquely suited to stealth anyway.” His wry amusement crumples into nothing as both of us are hit by a waft of Soil. In this noxious air, it is like breathing Soil and World and Pack. I feel it leaking into the air. I take huge breaths to try and save this pure smell in the midst of this rank time. What felt truly overpowering a heartbeat ago is slipping away. Broad exits the den-complex, radiating the scent of Soil. But nothing as powerful as that first sniff. He heads towards us and gets more and more sheepish as he approaches. I panic, has he lost all ability to scent-mask?

“I was feeling miserable and there’s nothing to do, so I went to have a nap, maybe keep Mane Runt company when she returns. I was lying there, and I saw the comfort-unit and I suddenly needed to smell Soil. I couldn’t bear it on Leaf-World another heartbeat without just a sniff…” he lets himself sputter out. I realise how easy I am to con as my stomach goes out to his misery that I know is fabricated. Slender seems less convinced. “The mechanism of our comfort-unit is faulty. I opened it and some fell out. I couldn’t decide whether to try and replace it and risk contaminating it with Leaf-soil or to make the most of the situation. I rolled in it, once. There is still plenty of use for both of ye if you hurry. I have rammed the unit shut. I will see what I can do to replace it. We can probably dig another chamber and fabricate a better catch. I knew trouble would come from all these hastily dug complexes.” Although I still feel his incredulity, Slender smells eager to experience Soil again, even if it is in a bold lie.

“There is precious little to waste of anything at the moment. I could not even call myself a stealth-DQPG if I did not make use of this limited, precious resource.” Is he mocking me? Maybe. We’re running. We feel our wasted muscles take up the strain and our bodies flood with adrenaline^. I realise how far we have come from being dogs. Soil-dogs would not recognise us by behaviour or appearance. The turmoil of giddy ecstasy and crushing fear add to the adrenaline. We are racing, wasting precious energy, nipping at each other like we’re on Heat. We race down the tunnel to our den following, without having to think, the scent of spilled Soil. When I see the size of the mound, I know that I don’t have the whole scent of this story. If he was using it as an excuse for having opened the unit at all (which he must have known immediately, he could not hide) then the spillage would be smaller. It must actually have a faulty catch. Broad would not intentionally sacrificed this much and he wouldn’t have sent us here if he hadn’t already taken the size of sample we agreed on. Where has he put it? Slender is already rolling. The scentscape is iridescent^ with the intoxicating smell of true Pack. We roll together.

We are snapped back to reality by dogs from neighbouring dens approaching. They all are guided by the same primal feeling of rightness we are indulging in our rolling.

( Let them have a roll. This is the first pleasure I have felt in over a season and a half, your mistake will benefit Pack. ) I’m a little startled that Slender is first to suggest it. Maybe he is in the wrong Service. Broad starts speaking to the assembled dogs.

“Pack, feel free to join us in rolling. Our comfort-unit had a faulty catch so I recommend no-dog opens theirs until we have had them all checked. Let my loss be Pack’s gain.” Dogs swarm forward. We share a pack-thought of ‘have we started something we can’t finish?’. Thankfully at this time of day, the den-complex is mainly populated by those about to serve a night-shift, most dogs are either at Service or congregating to witness the de-notching in a degree^. As dogs roll, they are as generous as First Eyes in letting later dogs get a chance. The den could be on World and each tunnel travelling away from this point must smell like a walk back to World.

Each dog is struck by the smell of Soil and subconsciously drifts past our den before heading onto their dens or out to see the de-notching. The dogs currently rolling are exhausted warriors going to den after long shifts. Dogs waiting agree that Soil is now depleted. They’re breaking into smaller packs. Those who have rolled are being groomed and rubbed against by pack-bonded and unknown pack alike. We three stay near our den, ensuring this sense of Pack prevails.

Slender jolts and runs away. Both Broad and I think at the same time.

( He’s late. ) We leave our den, walking back to Leaf-World and the dreadfulness of reality.

We returned to the stores. We told Mane Runt, who had stopped to catch up, about the mishap and that we hope some scent remains for her. We let her groom us as compensation. All the quarter-pack now groom or rub against us. I can feel it spreading positivity better than any words or thoughts can. I can’t smell a trace on my fur.

“I am still feeling sour at having wasted so much Soil. Brave, I know you are not happy about the de-notching. Care to join me for a wild-stroll? I need to be away from Pack for a degree.”

“We can pretend we are on World.” The chorus of agreement and empathy makes me proud of this quarter-pack. More than any other quarter-pack I have served, this one has experienced the most and is still compassionate. Maybe we can make their lives a little easier.

Broad and I wander off at random.

We have strolled around for at least 60 cents. We have been silent in voice and pack-speech. We approach an old provision-cache we used when there was excess provision to cache. It’s been disturbed more recently than the last time I know it was used. He quickly digs down and the smell of rotten provision greets me. I retch and push my nose into my own flank, trying to find a hint of Soil somewhere to mask this vileness. He brushes this aside, digs a further lunge-length down and pulls out a sealed, grubby cache-pouch. He fills the hole a little. He pushes the provision roughly into the hole, flicks some earth over it and proceeds to roll in the remaining earth. I have to fight the urge to stop him. He, like me, has lost every speck of Soil in the degrees since we rolled, but it feels against nature to reject Soil.

( You roll too. Any dog who find this spot will find a disused cache where desperate dogs thought they found provision only to find rotten filth and tried to be clean of it. ) It is smart. ( The scent of Soil is everywhere today so my first visit will be lost. ) I couldn’t tell he’d passed this way earlier. ( Every-dog will smell Soil for days in their minds and real life – they’ll dismiss an unexpected waft. I didn’t roll until I had hidden this. The catch is really broken. )

( I hope Slender is as proud of your stealth-work as I am of his quarter-work. ) Broad is alive and buzzing. We walk on. We begin to circle round to our agreed point of egress. Our striding would be conspicuous amongst other Leaf-dogs. Pack moves sluggishly now. We stop and rest. We walk on. We stop. We are leaving a scent-story of two role and pack-mates trying to escape the terror of life on Leaf-World. As we stroll, there is a pack-howl that rips the Set hunting degree and makes my blood feel cold. If Pack is not yet out of control, it will be soon.

We at last reach the agreed spot. We aren’t sure what to try. Knowing we have accidentally depleted our research stock makes every decision momentous.

( We need to see if it is Soil at all first. )

( It would be a tragic waste if it wasn’t. ) We lapse back into silence. His buzzing shakes off the potential sorrow. He feels alive now, no point stressing about awful things in our future. They are coming anyway.

( How about we tip a small amount out here and try to flick it across? Doesn’t waste much if we’re wrong. ) He takes my suggestion and chooses a flat stone to pour onto. The scent is no less overwhelming for having smelled it within the last day. We control ourselves. Broad flicks as I observe. Nothing much.

( I think there’s a dip in scent as the Soil hits the barrier, but I can’t tell if what I hear and see is just earth on this side or if any has escaped. ) Broad steps closer to flick some more. His foot slips as he kicks and it passes through the barrier! He tries to retract his foot, but it seems stuck. He doesn’t panic but looks to me for help.

( So, something covered in Soil can pass through the barrier. Is there enough for me to roll and pass through and then dust your foot so you can return it? ) I have not thought so clearly without hormonal insight. He gestures the cache-pouch. I tip it out, roll and gingerly walk…through the barrier. I tip a little of the remaining Soil onto his paw and it retracts within. I realise I am Outside of all of Pack. I try not to shiver in case I lose the Soil I need to return. The night out here feels deafeningly loud after the silence of nothing living within. The air is fresher too. The Leaf-World smell is still everywhere but it smells less toxic and insidious somehow.

I leap back in a panic. Inside, the smell of Soil and stale air greet me. The silence is complete. Broad and I celebrate.

( We need to get messages to the QP Coalition tonight! We need to be ready by tomorrow Set. )

( We need to send some-dog we trust, even in code, it cannot be intercepted. ) Hunger is there but the thought of not feeling it soon gives us both strength. We quickly conceal everything we’ve done. We clean the remnants of Soil from the ground and each other. My mouth tastes of Soil and World. We return to Pack trying not to break into a full trot. If our strides would have been conspicuous a trot might as well mark us as not-for-Pack.

( HELP! ) We both break into a run towards den. Together we swerve away from the path. Slender is calling from a little-wild to Rise of here, behind EdgeLeafment^, normally relatively busy. He sends a panicked thought of blood and pain. Broad splits away immediately to go to stores and get something, anything that might help. I keep running to Slender. What happened at the de-notching? What’s happened that he calls to us not Bushy? As I run, I smell the criss-crossings of littersworths^ of Soil-dusted dogs over every patch of wild. It was quick thinking that meant that Broad could hide us in plain scent so well. I throw my bond-voice as hard as I can to Slender.

( We are coming. I will be with you soon. ) He leaks relief but is closed. What has happened? The smells are confusing me. I can smell Soil, individuals I recognise and those I don’t. As I reach scent-range, I realise Slender is not alone. It is not his blood and pain but Trustworthy’s that has made him so frightened. I dash the last few dogs-lengths and see them. Slender is muttering to Trustworthy. Trustworthy is lying on his side. I can hear his long jagged breaths. He is hurt but as I approach, I smell that he is more distressed than in pain and I find I am less immediately worried.

“Trustworthy, my spots, what happened? What do you need?” He lifts his head to look at me and relaxes into the ground.

“I just need some clot-weed and a good long sleep. I am not ready for Pack yet. Not after what Slender tells me”

“His pack took the provision, attacked him and left!” Slender’s words pour cold water into my stomach.

“What we were bringing back would probably have caused a riot anyway, it was barely enough to provision EdgeLeafment for a day so maybe it was better that they took it.” On a day like this, I am no longer surprised at any dog’s behaviour, even selfish not-for-Pack actions like this. All I can think about is pack tomorrow Rise expecting provisioning. They’ll be even more desperate than when that pack-howl cut through the night. I feel Broad running towards us with supplies. I send him what happened, and he acknowledges.

“Broad is bringing clot-weed. We will groom you better.” Slender and I begin to groom the dried blood from his coat, avoiding the actual wounds until we have the clot-weed. As we check him over, I confirm his physical wounds are not as dramatic as they appeared. He is covered in blood from running in panic not the severity of the wounds. He is deeply hurt, this provision-pack included dogs he had served with on World. Broad joins us and we all chew clot-weed then go at his wounds.

All our mouths are tingling from the clot-weed. Our tongues are sore from the thorough grooming. I know what has to happen.

“Slender,” all three of them seem surprised by this address. “I know you have groomed my secret mission from your coat, but it is time to stop wasting time being covert and play-bowing round each other. We are trying to get Outside to provide for this hungry Pack. Irrespective of what your orders are, that should be the first priority of all Leaf-Pack. Broad and I have managed to cross the boundary this Set. We were not going to attempt anything more until tomorrow, once we could get the elements into place. If Trustworthy is smelled in-Pack tomorrow Rise, we will get a swarm of desperate dogs at the stores seeking provision. If he is not but there is provision by tomorrow Set, we may prevent any more atrocities being committed.” Slender is inscrutable, Broad is horrified, Trustworthy is already ahead of me. He is dragging himself to his feet.

“If I go now and can bring back provision then no-dog need know that I did it Outside. Then I can have further “provision-trips” and we might get even a quarter of providing without any-dog questioning it. I just need to get through now. How does it function, Brave?”

“Soil – if you roll in Soil you can cross the barrier. Anything covered in Soil can. We have a small amount in a deep-store by the barrier but not enough for you to go and come back with provision.”

“You go with what they have, I will ensure there is something for when you return. We will help you bring the provision back.” Slender shocks us all with the suggestion. I was not expecting help, just wanted to drop the exhausting subterfuge. His barriers are still closed in the pack-bond, so I do not know what he is thinking but I need to trust it in this moment. I will try to find out what he is up to later. Broad appears in the ringing bond-silence

( We need to trust each other right now. I hope you are not so good a stealth-dog that I am completely misled by your character. ) Trustworthy is ready to go, we give him some clot-weed in a cache-pouch and Broad has managed to dig out a stale smelling mobile-provision cube.

“We don’t have enough Soil to send you with rollers.”

“I can drag it if necessary, with these trees, there’s no shortage of rollers if I get stuck” He is more provisioned by determination than any flesh. Broad takes him to the egress point. I go with Slender to find out whether he will actually find us Soil. His silence makes my mind run. Nothing could be worse than seeing Trustworthy with provision through the barrier without being able to smell or hear him. Does a pack-bond function through the barrier? He suddenly chucks, it sounds jarring in the silent (now too silent) night.

“I knew you would be trying something this Set and I didn’t want to witness the exile so I couldn’t be identified as the channel when they eventually figure you out. I took an emetic and was sent away when I began vomiting. I would have been witnessed in den. Instead I have ended up with no alibi and far further involved. It was a stroke of genius spilling the Soil, I will tell Broad when we are all able to enjoy that. It is going to give me an opportunity to get some relatively easily. In future you will need to find a better way to get it though. Soil is too noticeable on Leaf-World.” I don’t have the brain power left to double-guess him or mistrust his words.

“Thank you. You are doing what is best for Pack. I know it might not seem it, but this is the only way to save Pack. Maybe Pack-Guiders will catch us, maybe they will eventually have a plan but right now, it is down to QDs as it so often is, to make sure that Pack Guider can take his time figuring out what he should do.”

“I will get you Soil, after that I will decide what I will do about your pack. I won’t pass it on, but it is risky for me to be involved. It seems like you do not need much stealth advice though.” We plod back to den. The scent of Soil getting stronger as we head to Pack. We walk back to Soil and World in our den. The scents of dogs and the footprints in the floor tell us that nearly every dog in this complex has passed by. Only one or two have gone in. We lie where the scuffs from so many dogs rolling are still in the ground. I can’t help sleeping immediately.

Broad returns. I feel the shifting and warmth as he lies against me. I smell Slender leaving. I guess he is going to get Soil. Or he is going to tell Bushy what we did. Either way, I can sleep now. And if I get exiled, I can at least eat.